Tone

It's the tone and words of  how you talk to me. I've heard that a time or two and never thought anything about it until our life changing experience.

During the healing process and the battles within us I heard this several times again.  Mike would tell me it's not what you're asking, it's how your asking.  What do you mean I would ask?  The tone of your voice and the words that make it sound like you have no love in you for me what so ever.  That wasn't true, but I'm sure I came across that way and it had become a habit over the years.  A very bad habit.

The things that I thought that were not important was very important to him.  My tone belittled him and I made it sound like I was controlling and demanding.  Confession time, I was controlling but not so much demanding.  Not sure they may go hand and hand regardless I took notice to what he was saying.  I started practicing asking things in a much nicer way with kinder words.  It took a lot of prayer and practice for God to change me and my thinking process.  I started thinking about what was going to come out of my mouth before I actually opened it.  Because once it is out there, it is there and there is no taking it back.

It's called respect, having respect for the other person. Not to talk down or to talk like your better than they are it's all in the words and the tone of the words.  The tone of ones voice will set the mood and can actually make the other person insecure about their self.  They begin to start feeling like there's no love there. Then the temptation can enter into and become a part of your life.   The enemy just needs an inch and then hes going to take a mile if you let him.

James 3:3-6
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 

Here we learn in James, its about the words and the tone of our words that can destroy a person. I've learned a very important lesson here.  Now when I speak to Mike, he knows that I respect and love him unconditional.