The Enemy Comes to Kill Steal and Destroy

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

How true this verse is.  There are so many marriages that are on the blink of divorce and families being ripped apart because of our selfish desires that are not of God.  Because of what the enemy has planted in one's mind.  Beginning with the process of the mind which then goes to one's heart.  The sad part about this verse is we want to place a lot of the blame on the enemy, but in reality most could be avoided if our hearts were in align with God.  I believe we have test from God even Jesus was tempted and tested.  Jesus also spoke that man cannot live off of bread alone. 

James 1:13
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; ¹⁴ but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 

If we are not protected by the word of God how will we ever overcome the temptations of the world?

Ephesians 6:13-15

¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
We then act on our selfish desires. The last part of the verse says it all.  If we were equipped with the word of God, I believe most of what we go through we would be able to over come the attacks on our lives and family.

We as a children of God should take these words to heart.  God, gave His only Son so that we may have life and to the fullest.  Lust, adultery, money, things can not buy or give us a full life.  Only God can give us life to the fullest nothing else in this world will satisfy us like the love of the Lord.  The fruit of the spirit will show in our lives when we put others before our self.  Forgiving, loving and serving others, just as Jesus did at the "Last Supper."  The things of this world will pass away but the forgiveness and love of the Father will never pass away.

Did you know that unforgiving is a sin. With unforgiving in our hearts it will cause bitterness to set in and hinder your walk with God.  Do we as children of God throw it all away and allow the enemy to tear our families apart or do we take a stand and give God all the Glory?

GUILTY OR INNOCENT

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. Do not worship other gods.
2. Do not worship idols.
3. Do not misuse God's name.
4. Keep the Sabbath holy.
5. Honor your father & mother.
6. Do not murder.
7. Do not commit adultery.
8. Do not steal.
9. Do not lie.
10. Do not covet

Sadly to say we are all guilty.  Yes we are! There was only one person that has walked this earth without sin and it was Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  Being a child of God and a believer of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit we receive His grace for forgiveness.  Thank You Lord for Your Forgiveness.

Not one of us have received the punishment that we deserve.  As for myself I wouldn't be here if I had.  Does it make it right that I haven't received that punishment?  That's up to the ones I've hurt in the past.  I'm sure they would tell you no I deserve more.  God has placed His punishment on me and in doing so it has brought me closer to Him.

Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

As I go over each commandment and study each one I to don't deserve forgiveness. Because of the Father's love for His children He forgives.  We all have committed sin after sin but the Father continues to forgive each time.  Look at Paul and the sins in his life and how God used him to write books of the bible.  How amazing is what God can do with you if you will only allow Him to change you.

For me it has taken time over the years to see my true self as a dirty filthy rag.  I've done things that I've regretted and not proud of.  The good news is that I became a child of God and ask for His forgiveness and to change me.  I'm still a work in progress.

Isaiah 64:8
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

We all are being molded into the person that God has called us to be.  It's amazing how He can take a sinner such as myself and continue to mold me into the person He has called me to be.  I don't believe I will be a finished product until the day He takes me home with Him.

2 Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin^[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 

People will disappoint you but God never will.  People won't forgive you in a split second but God will.  People aren't perfect but God is.  Learning to become like Christ is a way of life for me now. I know that when life disappoints me I can get through it because God is my way.

Step back and let God be the Judge, one day we will face Him and be held accountable for all our sins. I truly don't have the right to judge anyone but we as brothers and sisters in Christ can hold them accountable.

 Matthew 7:5
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Scripture for thought~

SERVING

"No act of service is insignificant when done for the most significant purpose in the universe: proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ." - Pastor Steven Furtick 

We were serving in our home church and had been for the past fifteen years.  We were so involved in our youth group, media and etc. Where ever they needed us we felt we should serve.   On one of our many Mexico Missions we came up as a group with a statement that we would live by. "Whatever it takes and then some".  

Four years ago, we began our journey to fight for our marriage we did and won by the grace of God.  We had left our home church for no other reason than God was moving us into a different direction.  We obeyed and began seeking out another home church.  We attended a VERY large church just to go and not be seen or heard.  We just needed the word and to worship together with a focus on God.  This went on for three years back and forth.  One year ago Mike ask if we wanted to move our membership and join.  I ask him to please let us pray and ask God to show us.  You know I need God to bang me over the head and to make sure the door is closed before I get it!  We attended our home church the next couple of weeks only to find out that they had ask our Pastor (Friend and Brother) to resign for NO moral or ethical reason. What a man of God and today he is serving God as they have planted a church. Praise God!  We attended our home church that Sunday and we both knew that God had closed the door on our home church but not on our friends.  We left behind friends that had become like family to us.  We love them dearly and still stay in touch with many.

He then open the door for our new church home that we attend today.

This is going to be great attending, tithing and just attending church. Until we attended the services and we saw people worshiping our God and the word being taught.   Then we attended classes explaining the different ministry opportunities.  Curiosity kills a cat and it was killing us we wanted to know what made this church different from others. We went through these classes with open minds and praying with each other. We did find out what's different God is leading this church and not man.  On the last class we joined and signed up to serve in different areas.  We both know that God has called all of us to serve where ever that might be.  We are His disciples and have been called by Him.

God has a sense of humor, because I can say, I wasn't going to do more than I signed up for.  Remember in a large church the mentality is that no one will notice you so therefore you don't have to worry about getting out of your comfort zone.  I can say people may not notice but God does.  He had given us four years of getting our lives  back together and teaching us what it means to be a true disciple.  

One week ago I was ask to help to be a one of the team leaders in the area of HK check in where I'm serving.  I thought how humbling this is but I wasn't worthy to be there.  Mike and I prayed about it and I accepted.  I have been laughing because I know God is looking down and laughing at me.  What a sense of humor He has.  But most of all what a honor and humbling experience to serve with others again.  God has been faithful to His word. Mike is now serving on the tech squad and loving every minute of it.  I will say as a proud wife he's doing a great job and committed as I am.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 God hasn't called us to sit back and relax and do nothing.  He will give us a break and sometimes that is soooo needed to allow God to draw us closer to Him.  He gave us four years and there is not a time limit only God's perfect timing.

Romans 13:11                                                                                                                                                                                                        And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 

 THE SLUMBER PARTY IS OVER!

Foundation

Your house is built on a foundation. The foundation determines if your house will crumble and fall or is it strong enough to stand the storms?  Before the foundation is formed a lot of work goes into preparing of the soil.  Formation begins with placing re-bar to hold the concrete of the foundation which gives the concrete a better chance of not cracking. You got it!

Matthew 7:26
But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.

Same is true with a marriage.  How has your foundation been formed in your marriage, on the rock which is the word of God or the sand?  Not all marriages formed on the rock and God's word will survive without some kind of trial or a valley.  The more of God's word that you pour into your marriage, the better the chance that you will survive the test. Without the word of God the bigger the chance is that you listen to the world which is divorce.  I honestly can't believe that couples that know God's word just picks up and walks away without even giving God the chance to place the re-bar (The word of God) back into their marriage to stop it from crumbling.

Matthew 7:25
The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
 

CHANGE

God is a God of change.  Although He is unchanging, He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  God wants us to be always changing.  He desires that we become more and more like Him.  In order to do that we have to be open for change.

I know because I had to be willing to allow God to change me.  Most of my friends will be the first to tell you I'm all about changing.  I move furniture around constantly and paint every other month.  I didn't need a house makeover, what I needed was a change of heart (transplant).
  
I prayed for God to change my heart, which would allow me to change. I needed to change in order for God to restore our marriage.


Psalm 19:14
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

For when your heart is pure then the words that come from your mouth will be pleasing to Him and love to others.  Changing my heart changed the way I treated my husband. I let go of the strongholds that had a hold on my life. The good news is that any stronghold of bad habits can be broken in an instant by the power of God. Regardless of how long they have been there.  You see God is in the business of change without change we will never get to where He wants to take us.  I praise God that He is continuing to work in me and changing me everyday.  I don't look at people or things as I once did.  I pray everyday for God to allow me to see through His eyes.



Allowing God to change you through His word, will only equip you for your giant!  Never say that you can't do it because God tells us:

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Authority

Are we guilty or innocent?  If we set before a judge and jury today would they find us guilty or innocent?  For what you may ask?  Not having the faith in God's word to see us through a most difficult time in our life whatever it may be.  Not taking authority over our situation!

I don't know about you guys but we wanted to be more than a conqueror.  God never said we wouldn't have trials.  He said we will, not if but when.  The good news is that Jesus overcame those problems for us.  To conquer we had to take authority of our situation.   For God has given us the authority over the enemy.  Praying is putting our authority into action.  The enemy has the power to destroy us, but the good news is we have been given authority over him.

Luke 10:19
I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

A trial will come when we least expect it during our life time.  Just remember this, the solution to it can come forth if we are equipped.  To be equipped the condition of your heart has to be right.  My heart for the longest wasn't right because it had been hurt and torn apart.  It was through prayer that God cleansed my heart and made it new.  I knew the only way I was going to get God's attention was through prayer and not a selfish prayer either.  I needed Him to show me the things that I needed to change. Such as the way I spoke to others or even looked at others.  God is sovereign.  He cleansed my heart and gave me the authority by His work to overcome what the enemy tried to destroy.

The only way to receive all that God has for us is to be totally submitted to the authority of His son Jesus in our lives.  We have authority over the enemy because of what Jesus did on the cross.  Remember when going through your trials whatever they may be, pray for God to give you clean hands and a pure heart.

Satan (the thief) works in a very specific way. He has a set plan--and he works it very effectively. If we look thoughtfully, I believe we will see his wicked plans at work all around us.

Put on the armor of God and you can overcome the one who has come to destroy us.

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God

 ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

GRACE

Ephesians 1:7
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

As I sit here on my back porch and listen to God through my praise and worship.  Which to begin this morning is "Amazing Grace" my chains are gone I've been set free, my God and Savior has ransom me. "Amazing Grace."  Is this not what grace is all about forgiving and going forward.  It's not about what we have done for God, but what He has done for us.

Return to the cross where Jesus was hanging on the cross and next to Him was a thief who had converted out of pure fear.  The thief didn't have time to go to friends and ask forgiveness for those that he had wronged, we don't even know if he had ever believed until now.  What we do know is that he asked "Jesus, remember me,"  and Jesus promised, "Today you will be with me in paradise." A reminder that grace does not depend on what we have done for God but rather what God has done for us. Right here Jesus extended grace and forgiveness.

Another story that God gives us is the prodigal son.  I love the ending of this story where the father sees his son from a distance coming home.  The father opens his arms and loves all over his son who he has forgiven and prepares a feast for him.  The forgiveness that comes from grace.

C.S. Lewis wrote "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you" Wow that hit home with me.  The more I study God's word the more I learn it applies to my life everyday.

Today, I can say I have experienced God's unconditional love which now I can share with my wonderful husband. The man that I truly love and have forgiven.  I have also ask God for His forgiveness for not having faith in Him to heal our marriage.

Psalm 86:15

¹⁵ But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
   slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

A Tragedy in Todays World

The marriages that are under attack today are increasing rapidly.  Until we understand that life and marriage is an apprenticeship for the practice of God's love.  Until we learn this and achieve this we are  going to spend years in regrets and disappointments.

Do I believe that every marriage that has experience infidelity in their marriage can be saved? Yes, if we are all humbled, repented and have asked God and our spouse to forgive us.  If one spouse is not, I do not believe in giving up on them, I believe we should pray for them and ask God to open their eyes to the enemy.  Some marriages will not be restored, but we should continue to pray and seek God.  Just because our marriages aren't restored doesn't mean we give up on God or better yet He has given up on us.  Our names are written in the palm of Him hand, He has a plan for us. We have a ministry and that is to help others.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 

¹¹ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

These are demonic days in which almost all cherished values are crumbling.  The world is adrift in a ocean of uncertainty and doubt.  Society is in a state of shock.  The social order is disintegrating.  Moral chaos thrives.  This invasion of sex-oriented demons, driving up the divorce rate and destroying the institution of marriage, the home and the family. The good news is that God can use this very situation to develop His unconditional love in us.

One of the greatest opportunities for learning God's unconditional love is presented to the spouses whose mate has become the victim of promiscuous sex demons.  There is no greater temptation to bitterness than the unfaithfulness of your spouse.  Thousands are being caught in this sin everyday.  If one allows to have the mind set of  resentment, self-pity, and revenge, we have wasted our pain and hurt.  But if we understand that grace can overrule this pain and hurt and use it for teaching God's unconditional love,  we may be able to use His unspeakable anguish for everlasting gain.  Not many do, but some of us have triumphed.

Romans 5:3-5

³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Tone

It's the tone and words of  how you talk to me. I've heard that a time or two and never thought anything about it until our life changing experience.

During the healing process and the battles within us I heard this several times again.  Mike would tell me it's not what you're asking, it's how your asking.  What do you mean I would ask?  The tone of your voice and the words that make it sound like you have no love in you for me what so ever.  That wasn't true, but I'm sure I came across that way and it had become a habit over the years.  A very bad habit.

The things that I thought that were not important was very important to him.  My tone belittled him and I made it sound like I was controlling and demanding.  Confession time, I was controlling but not so much demanding.  Not sure they may go hand and hand regardless I took notice to what he was saying.  I started practicing asking things in a much nicer way with kinder words.  It took a lot of prayer and practice for God to change me and my thinking process.  I started thinking about what was going to come out of my mouth before I actually opened it.  Because once it is out there, it is there and there is no taking it back.

It's called respect, having respect for the other person. Not to talk down or to talk like your better than they are it's all in the words and the tone of the words.  The tone of ones voice will set the mood and can actually make the other person insecure about their self.  They begin to start feeling like there's no love there. Then the temptation can enter into and become a part of your life.   The enemy just needs an inch and then hes going to take a mile if you let him.

James 3:3-6
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 

Here we learn in James, its about the words and the tone of our words that can destroy a person. I've learned a very important lesson here.  Now when I speak to Mike, he knows that I respect and love him unconditional.

Cheerleaders

Years ago while in high school I was a cheerleader. Which required a great deal of practice everyday. Going over cheers and routines to make sure I got it right.  Then came the try outs in front of judges that you had never met.  Cheering with a group, alone and then your routine.  Nervous very nervous waiting on the end results to see if you were good enough to make the squad.

Today I look back and see how important it was for all of us on the squad to cheer for the team.  Whether we were behind or even loss we were there to give support and encourage the team.  Isn't that  what's life is all about to be a friend to someone especially someone who is going through a difficult time in their life.

Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

We had our cheerleaders, and we praise God for those of you who would call, email, text or just stop by our home to cheer us to the finish line.  Not that we will be finished until the day Jesus returns.


In your difficult times make sure you have Godly friends or mentors that are seeking God to cheer you through.  I promise it makes a difference.

Just to share a few of encouragements, so many were there from the very beginning others in the middle. Praise God they cheered us through for the BIG WIN! The enemy loss this attack.

We pray for you guys in a big way and asked that God not allow more than you can handle.  You can do this, you are a very strong woman God will see you both through this.

Love you praying for you right now.

Mike loves you and he has repented and you can see it all over him.  God will see you through this you both are going to glorify God in all this.

God is a forgiving God, He has forgiven Mike and so can you.  We will pray through this.  If you didn't love him you wouldn't be going through this.

The enemy comes to steal kill and destroy.  You're a fighter you hate to lose.

Come to the house and lets have communion together and let me pray over you.  You both have a ministry and God wants to use you both.

God is teaching you both true forgiveness. Mike forgiving himself and you forgiving him.

Taking the hikes on the trails and being able to let out your feelings without someone judging you or your spouse.  To stop in the middle of the hike and kneel down on the trail and pray with a friend.

Just a few of the cheers and prayers that we had behind us.  Praying us through one of the most difficult times in our lives.  Without these Godly friends and family I'm not sure where we would be.  I would hope we would have made it through, but to have friends that are not judging and praying daily who couldn't WIN!

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Words

2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

What is in your heart will come out of your mouth.  If we permit wrong thoughts to dwell in our hearts, we will ultimately speak them.  Yes I did.  Whatever is hidden in our hearts, our mouths will sooner or later express openly.  Satan will lie to us, he will try to plant wrong thoughts and make us think things that are not true.

There is to much at stake in our marriages not to be diligent to guard our hearts and to fill it full of God's truth.  We must have a renewing of our mind daily.

I had to take responsibility before God, and ask for His grace to change me for speaking words that were not full of faith or pleasing to Him or others.

Proverbs 13:3
"He who guards his mouth keeps his life, but he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin."

For instance, when someone would ask about the situation or wanted details of the situation, I would give gruesome details and discuss how unfair and painful the entire thing was.  I would then find myself upset and taking my hurt out on Mike all over again.

I actually upset myself by how I chose to talk about our situation.  Instead of speaking words that would glorify God I let it become a bad habit for me. 

I decided to break the bondage that the enemy had me captured in. I began praying, God please speak through me for I know what your word says about the heart.  Cleanse my heart and make it pure with pleasing words to glorify you.

God has taught me that I can increase my own peace and joy by the things I say or the ones I don't permit myself to say.  God's word encourages me to think about what words I will use before I speak.

James 1:19
"Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry."

HIKING

I have found out the best way to deal with issues is just to take a nice long hike in the woods. I-pod  listening to praise and worship and just to let go.  As I listen to songs and worship God right out in the middle of the woods with my hands lifted high. I praise a God who has seen me through all the deep, dark places we have been.

I have learned that He understands everything about me. He created me.

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

My hikes have been very spiritual, that have taken me on walks with a Mighty God, that understands my need to walk and talk with Him.  These hikes have taken me to a higher level where I talk freely with Him.  He understands better than anyone.  He is my best friend. 

Hebrews 4:16
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees.  My hikes take me right into the middle of the forest where God is molding my heart for He is the potter and I am the clay.  I can now see past the trees and the beauty of an amazing God.  A God who has empowered us to overcome.

Ephesians 3:16-21
"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit..Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."

LIVING FREE

The easy part is writing about it the hardest part is living and learning.  When you let go of things and there in the past that is where you want to leave them.  Once you have been able to accomplish this you're living free.  This is where we all need to be no matter where we are in life.

Mark 8:34-36
Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.  What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul."

The world that we live in today is all about self.  (The world) there are people and things that will try to get your attention, it's what you do with it that's important.  Stop listening to people who are not giving good Godly advise. Stop watching shows or movies that cause you to reflect back on these past times of our life, rethink what God has planned for us instead. Sometimes I find that television and social media can be my enemy.  That is why I choose what I watch, read and who my friends are very carefully. 

We have to deny ourselves and pick up our cross and follow Him.  He never told us in His word that it was going to be easy or if we would go through tough times.  He did say when we go through.

Romans 6:12-13
"Do no let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires.  Do not let any part of your body become and instrument of evil to serve sin.  Instead, give yourselves completely to God."

Do not repay evil for evil.  I listen to people talk about he did it, so I'm going to do it to be even. Then we will be even.  NO!  You will never be even so don't go there, you are sinning against God for your body is a temple to Him.  No one should ever make this decision.  Never repay evil for evil.  This is not how to live free.  Give these thoughts to God and ask Him to remove and replace with Godly thoughts and memories. 

Follow Christ and the example He set for us, stand firm on His word and never doubt that God can't handle and change the situation.

Focus on God's best!  Because it is the BEST!
Living Free

OUR RELATIONSHIP

Proverbs 29:18
"Where there is no vision, the people perish"

Am I willing to change?

To make our marriage work, we both were willing to change. It was getting there that was the problem.  Our mind set had to become it wasn't about us, but about God.  Letting God have our marriage and taking full control.

Matthew 18:3
And he said " I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

So powerful, but isn't all of God's words.  We had to change, I had to change and become like a child.  I prayed please God allow me to climb up into your lap and you hold me.  Teach me your ways and not those of mine.  I had to learn to let go of the past. 

1 Corinthians 13:5
"(Love) keeps no record of wrongs."

For a time I was keeping all the records, memories whatever to throw back up. How wrong was that?  You can't change the past, but you can give the past to God and He will make it right.  To love as Jesus loves His church.  Something else that I had to learn.  Think of all the times that we as children of God have disappointed Him.  He still loves us as a father or mother love their children.

John 13:34-35
"A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

You can't pick and choose who to love, the word clearly states LOVE ONE ANOTHER! Yes it's hard sometimes to love people especially when they have hurt you.  No better way to show God's love than to love them no matter the cost.

Defeated

I've used this word a time or too.  For the record I will not use this word again.  It was brought to my attention we are not defeated if we are a child of God.

2 Corinthians 4:9
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

We will be persecuted there will be many times you will hear the wrong advice. Be very careful with your friends or family with the advice they give.  Make sure that it lines up with the word of God.  We both were persecuted for fighting for our marriage, if we both had listen to advice from people we would not be together today.  I was trying my best to draw near to God just as Mike was trying and succeeding in drawing near to God.

When the two of us were both drawing near to God and to please Him, what do you think happened?  Yes, He drew near to both of us and wrapped His arms around us into one with Him.  How amazing is our God?

Here is Godly advice from a Godly brother, when I texted "Defeated".

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power (you for sure) and of might and a sound mind. God is going to prevail and show you that He is greater than these issues. He built the world!!!! Think of it!!! He built the world in 7 days!!! We serve an amazing God! Be strong. Be faithful. Believe, you and Mike have endured hardship beyond belief! Trust God. Our God is greater than any circumstance we face.

Now that is Godly, advice.

Defeated, No!! Stronger yes! We will all endure issues in our marriage, but please remember the God that joined you together is still the same God that is willing to put your marriage back together better than before.  Please give Him the opportunity to do this, you will not be disappointed. 

The Mask

It became a part of my identity to myself, I felt hopeless, I was defensive, and I became a slave to it.  I began to lose my life and what I thought I couldn't overcome.

Romans 6:12-14
"Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God. Sin is no longer your master. Instead, you live under the freedom of God's grace."

You see I thought the mask was helping me but it was only helping me to hide the sin in me.  I don't like pretending, actually what you see is what you get with me.  I was only out to mask myself where others would think she really is getting through this so easy.  If only I had taken God at His word and released it sooner.  The pride would have been dissolved and the forgiveness would have come sooner.

We both look back as we're in God's word to see all the mistakes we made trying to do it our way and not God's way.  This goes for so many things marriage, finances, children, employment and the list goes on.  We have learned that we will both be in agreement and at peace with the decisions that need to be made.  God's way not ours even if we have to struggle to get there.  Our joy comes in the morning every morning.

My heart was sick and mind wouldn't let it go.  I had not turned this over to God and left it there, if so it would have been over with sooner.  Complete healing. I was disappointed that I had unfulfilled expectations of my husband but most of all myself.

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Untreated pain and bitterness, pain that medicine couldn't cure.  Pain that hurt so bad at times I wondered where God was in this.  God had a plan for me, it's called forgiveness, unconditional love.  It wasn't going just to be a band-aid to cover the cuts, there was not going to be scares left on me. God knew that if He kept me in his word and with His teachings I was going to over come this.

Ephesians 4:31:32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

What hurts the most now is to hear others say I can't do this.  Yes you can. Do you believe in Jesus Christ?  These words were spoken to me by our children.  Mom, do you think that Jesus died on the cross just for you? Did he forgive you of your sins? If you believe He died for us all and has forgiven us of all our sins, who are you not to forgive? So true, thank you our children.

May 12, 2011

Phil: 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

This has been one of many life changing verses of God's word for us.  This one verse has helped in so many areas of our life.

Mark 7:21
For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.  All these evils come from inside and make a man unclean.

Here God is talking to us all about the many temptations of life.  Not just adultery. We all will struggle with these sins and will need forgiveness for each.

He had lust in his heart, which started a chain of events for us.  I don't know about you but as looking back now I wasn't where I needed to be in our marriage or my walk with God.  I am not excusing his behavior or saying it's okay to cross the line when the communication between the two has been disconnect.

Compromise always comes with consequence:

The enemy will always plant thoughts in your head such as:

God wants me to be happy, I can't be happy married to her.  So I'm leaving and I know He'll understand.

In today's world the world thinks this is not immoral.  The Lord gave me this desire and wants me to enjoy it. (Really) do you think that's true?

I'm not perfect, I've got in deeper than I planned.  It's a sin but God will forgive me, isn't that what's grace is all about.

It feels good, they make me feel special and again isn't all about me.

So if the above is true why is it then in:
1 Peter 1:14:16 - God teaches us to be holy.
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy".


Marriages today are under attack more than ever before.  As you know we are living in the last of days.  Therefore the enemy is after every marriage and family he can destroy, stopping short of nothing.  He knows how much this hurts our God.  So why do we give in so easily?  Why do we not stand up and fight for what is ours?  We need to stand up for what God has given us and blessed us with.  If it were our child that was being bullied you better believe ever parent would stand up against that bully.  Why not our marriages and family?  We don't divorce our children when they have done wrong we just show them love and demonstrate tough love. We take the easy way out with our marriages.  The hurt, pain, anger or true forgiveness we don't want to deal with. It's easier to divorce than to forgive.  The world has made it very easy to divorce and just walk away.

In Proverbs it teaches us about adultery and what's wrong with it:

First it violates God's holy standard.  Second its consequences are devastating.  Proverbs focuses on the consequences, teaching the reasons that adultery should be avoided at all costs.

Adultery pretends to offer pleasure and sexual release with few risks.  The secrecy, intrigue and forbidden nature of the act only adds to the tug.  A tug that controls the mind and heart.

Yet appearances are deceiving.  What begins as sweet desire quickly turns bitter.  Adultery destroys reputations, character and marriages the permanent costs immeasurable outweigh the momentary rewards.  Actually there is no rewards for adultery.  Only God can restore your character, reputation and integrity by his Grace and Mercy after full repenting of the sin.

Even if adultery is kept in secret is fully exposed to a God who judges righteously.  God will reveal in His perfect timing.

To me self-centeredness is sin:  It's all about me, whether you steal, lie, greed it's all about the self.  It is the very essence of all sin and misery and results in self-destruction.  It is the core of hostility, and hostility is the core of hell.  Self-centeredness is the antithesis of holiness or God's love, and the beauty and essence of heaven.

Yes, I'm very aware of this because after the truth was out, it then became all about me.  I had not reached the core of true forgiveness.

Thank you Lord, for the faithful friends that would call and encourage me every day even after a bad night.  I was making myself miserable not to tell you how I was making my husband feel.  I continued to question God and wondering is this really worth it?  I went to bed praying God please help me; your word tells me "I can do all things through You who gives me strength".  During the night I woke up to a voice telling me give Me your marriage and I will heal it.  I realized at that point I had not given my marriage to God in order for Him to heal it.  Also, I had truly not forgiven my husband.  If so I would not have continued to make his life miserable.  Why did he stay with me?  I know that I really disappointed God and have since repented to God and my husband.

I continued to worry about what tomorrow would hold.  Would I be any better?  Would I get a day that would not cause me to worry?

Matthew 6:34
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own".


How true this verse is;  I was just making it through the day, when I started quoting this scripture I didn't think about what was going to happen tomorrow, I knew that God had already gone before me.  I was beginning to understand to live one day at a time, because I wasn't promised tomorrow.  Tomorrow would come and I would be taking ten steps backward, when I thought I was on the road to recovery.  Far from it, I had not experienced the true and living God as I thought.

Remember from the first I told you Did I really hear God? I needed another sign from God.  If you will just give me one more sign that your speaking life into our marriage, please God let me hear from you again.

Romans 10:16-18
"consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and message is heard through the word about Christ".

Where was my faith or should I say is my faith going to be strong enough to see me through this.  Faith cannot be perfected except by apparent denial.  This was the way Job's faith was perfected so that he said, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him".  This is the kind of faith that does not depend upon tangible fulfillment.  It cannot be developed without being utterly baffled.  God cannot develop this quality of faith in one without apparently denying Himself.  I needed to have Job's faith more than ever.

We will go through test and trials in our lifetime.  I would find scriptures that would relate to my lack of faith.  I would write them down and memorize them.  It was like being back in school all over again, researching in depth God's word and how it was applying to life at that moment.  This one verse said it all to me:

Gal 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me".

One thing we should all realize is that Jesus, was tempted in everyway.  If  He hadn't been tempted then we wouldn't have the answers to all of our temptations.

This sin of unforgiveness in my life wasn't helping me to grow in the word that I was reading and memorizing daily.  It was only helping me to wear my mask more comfortable and hide my weaknesses, which were causing me to have roadblocks to being real with true forgiveness.  I would act life the perfect wife out in public but let me come home and something, someplace, some person, whatever it was would spin me into a whirlwind.  I had not learned humility, which I needed more than my husband.

2 Corinthians 4:2
 "We refuse to wear masks and play games..Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see".

Not me I was wearing that mask and I wasn't taking it off for anyone to see.  I didn't want anyone to see the hurt and pain that I was going through.. I only shared that with the ones that I could trust to help me pray to over come this.  My husband was continuing to pray over me, but there were times many times I wouldn't share with him.  I didn't want to bring the past up that would cause him to stop healing.

Romans 7:15
"I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it.  Instead, I do the very thing I hate".

Would I Do It Again?

June 2007, I find out from my sister that my daddy had a mass on his left kidney.  Remember early on I told we had a broken relationship.  I was on my knees asking God to open the door before me to allow me to talk to my daddy.  The first try the telephone line was busy. God's timing.  The second day I prayed again and made the call, only this time I left a message for him.  God's timing. My daddy returned my call and we didn't miss a beat.  How awesome is our God!  See I believe with all my heart it was God's perfect timing for me to be preoccupied on my daddy and his salvation than my marriage at the time.

From June until October,  I was with my daddy most of the time spent with him at the hospital.  My sister and I both relieved each other over the weekends.  It was August 31, 2007,  I returned home for a long weekend to spend with my family.  Labor Day weekend was when I truly new the truth.  God will reveal what is in the dark and bring to light in His perfect timing.

I remember the day as clear as today.  It was when I made a telephone call to a friend to tell her happy birthday.  During our conversation she told me one of the girls there was having an affair with a married man.  I knew from that point it was with my husband.

How could I even think that the enemy could get even his little toe in our marriage?  Wrong not only did he put his little toe he put his paws and claws and everything he had.  This is where I felt like Job.  God had spared our children but for the rest it was gone.

Job 34:22
"there is no darkness nor shadow of death where the workers of iniquity may hide themselves".

I admire the ones of you that have handled this as Job did.  I laid in the mud with the pigs, rolled around screaming and kicking when no one was looking having myself a pity party.  Not only was I now dealing with my daddy's last days but finding out about the affair.  This wasn't easy for me to find out I didn't have the relationship with God, as I had thought.

Not Relying on God!

I just knew that God had a job to do in me but what was it?  I seemed to have it all together but now I wasn't so sure.  How will I ever please God through this?  Can I overcome and give true forgiveness?

I thought I had all the right answers and I was strong enough to go through this and please God.  I was so wrong.  I didn't understand myself, I would decide one way, but then I act another.  I did things I absolutely despise.  This was a very hard lesson to learn.  I'm a problem solver and this time I couldn't solve my own problems.  The bad behavior that had taken over me and almost killed me.

My eyes and mind where going to get the best of me.

Every time I went somewhere or past by somewhere they had been.  This would cause a chain of events for me.

First I needed the weapons to fight this off, none better than scripture and worship.

Psalm 119:37
"Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way"

It was God's word and many songs of worship that went before me approaching a place that brought heartache to me.  It got me through those deep dark places.

Thankful

Thank you Lord for sparing our children and grandchildren.  What about me, my heart has been ripped out and thrown away.  Lord you know I married him and it was all about true love.  Now where is the love?  Yes Lord, you joined us together and we are one in you.  I understand that whatever he goes through I will go because we are one in You.  Did my husband think about that before he crossed the line that ripped my heart out.

There was so many times that I wanted to throw in the towel and just call it quits.  I couldn't because my husband had ask God and myself to forgive him. 

What I had come to learn and know was I wanted to please God with all my heart and not tear my family apart.  I wanted to be strong and faithful.  God showed me I wasn't strong as thought I was or as forgiving as I should be.  The easy way out was to divorce and not have to deal with it.  Easy, so easy it is written:

After all, scripture does tell us God will grant a divorce for this sin.  If you continue to read scripture you will also find out, God is against divorce or anything that separates a family.  My husband had ask for forgiveness, this was going to be such a struggle for me.  I didn't know true forgiveness!

Covenant not contract with God.  The marriage is a covenant with God meant only for one husband, one wife that is joined together by God.  When two becomes one in Christ.  No one else should be allowed into your marriage except the one who joined you together, God.

April 20, 2011

The year was 2006 a year filled with surprises, good and bad. Have you ever noticed when God is answering prayers the enemy is right behind Him, trying to take a bite out of your heel.  No kidding that happened to me! A dog bit me in the heel while showing houses.LOL The same is with that ugly, ugly serpent that rears his head.  Our daughter becoming engaged and my daddy disowning his child.  He had allowed greed to set in and me to question his relationship with God.

After years of praying for a Godly man to come in our daughters life, the prayer was answered. She became engaged in September of 2006 and we started to plan a wedding for March 2007. Who wouldn't have been happy when such exciting things were going on. If only I knew how exciting and what to expect.  Things were going great in real estate and with Mike building houses we were planning and going on mission trips. God was so blessing us.   Exciting and sad all at the same time. Wait, did you hear in this that we where not being good stewards. I thought that is what you heard me say. Somewhere back we lost the connection with God.  He didn't lose it with us we did with Him.

Mike and I were running into two different directions. He was running toward the world and I was running as far as I could to get away from it.  I had a broken relationship with my daddy that I needed God to heal. We also had a daughter getting married and wanted God to be the center of their lives.  Do you know what it feels like to play "tug of war"?  That was the game Mike and I were playing.  I just wasn't strong enough to pull him over the line. 

Would I Do It Again?

Romans 7:15
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
Romans 7:19
For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

These scriptures are so true, sin is the most and strongest addiction of the world. Have you ever noticed that when you're involved in sin, you want to stop you but just don't know how.  The temptation outweighs your rationalizing.

The good news is that we serve an amazing God who is forgiving and full grace and mercy.  I have experienced so much of His forgiveness and grace over the past years.  There is no love greater than the love that God has for us.  In this, I am forever grateful and can truly say I am deeply in love with Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.

I bet you wonder why I titled my blog "Would I do it again".  Would I marry my husband again after he confessed to an adultress affair?  Wow what a kick in the stomach that was.  It was three and a half years ago that he confessed and today I can tell the story.

First and foremost I would like everyone of you to know that I am not placing blame on him, even though he crossed the line.  It takes two to tango, and I wasn't in the mood for dancing.  We had so much going on in our lives that I didn't have time to give to him. BIG MISTAKE as Julia Roberts would say on Pretty Woman! Going back now I can see he so tried to get my attention and I just ignored him thinking our day will come when we become empty nesters.

The enemy didn't want to wait, he wanted to go ahead and throw his flaming arrow, where I thought our marriage was fireproof.  I know because those words came out of my mouth, which I was reminded later. I ate crow, which didn't taste too well.

Well today we still have a family at home.  The line of communication is direct connect. 

More to come!